Microcosm

It's most important in life to be happy, but also realise that not every day can be pixar-worthy. Studying abroad is incredible, but it isn't a natural situation to be in, it's like a speeded-up microcosm of the life you have back home. Moving in, making friends, learning about the culture, and learning academically, all in a tiny space of time. At home we were warned about the "6-week homesickness" and culture shock period, where things would get a bit tough. I haven't really had that, but I suppose friendshave caused my own homesickness.

A friend said to me that its a strange situation, being abroad, because everyone here is friends because they're here together, they're people bundled up who would never be friends at home. I agree. It's the microcosmic world abroad that people feel like should mirror their lives back home, and thus they should be popular or dead wicked cool. And I think that's why it's uncomfortable sometimes. 

These people are just interesting. Some of them are just different to me, some I don't really know and some I really value as friends and get along with. But there is a definate need within them to stick together, like they feel they must have fun and go out together and be included. Its intriguing. It's dramatic. It's life sped up. 

Watching them from the outside is interesting, because I sometimes feel the storms coming, see the microcosmic space become a little too small for the people suddenly put inside it. 

I've been in that position of quick-fitting in, and not fitting, myself. But that was in school. Now we're at uni, and never again. My best friends since school have been the ones who left the wicked-coolies at school and finally broke away, decided they didn't need the drama and the unhappiness. But that is something Mean Girls hit right on the head: it's sometimes better to be in the group and hating it, than out of it and with no friends, no-one to put up pictures on facebook with at the age of 20, no-one to get dinner with.

I think Shakespeare did it even better:

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake.

The w-c group is so formulated and mechanically constructed that it is bound to constantly stumble and grumble. But as soon as you turn your back for a moment, your opening somehow closes ever so slightly, suddenly you are not even a part of something you were.

What's the point in bad friendship? In the microcosm, sometimes it's all you can get.

So, its best to go get something more. 

 Some people stereotype the girls I live with because they seem like "sorority girls" but none of them are in a sorority. They have made me feel more included than anyone else since i've been here, like they actually want me around. I remember someone saying to me that i was hanging out with the "sorority girls" on the floor, and i was like, well actually, they're not. They aren't in sororities and they don't act like typical greek people. They are lovely. And since then I have had a far better experience from their friendship than of any others here.

Now I never thought of myself as closed minded, though I do feel as though I was so focussed on the "don't judge a book by its cover" being about race, and the hyped up British culture of not stepping out of line at all with regards to racial discrimination, that I never really thought about cultural stereotypes. I suppose if ever I look at someone and think I wont enjoy any friendship we might have, I'm justified in thinking so. But I have been a little judgemental, since being here. I've judged by my film knowledge of Americans, which is natural, but also silly. There are definitely some girls here who fit soroity down to a T. (I realise im also massively stereotyping sorority too here but there is a definate type who fit greek life, more so for frat brothers). 

Mother Theresa apparently said that if you judge people, you have no time to love them. 

So true. Experiences go by so fast that its essential to give people a chance before their love and stories pass you by. My sister also warned me of being too accommodating, though and a close friend also told me he never had friends, only acquaintances. (I bypassed this by becoming his unofficial sister, along with our other friend.) But they both have a point. You have to be selective as to who you put your trust and time into, who you spend your time following and chasing, not to get caught up with people who you chase and chase, but who never turn around to see you following.

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